This would’ve been the week of my office Christmas party if it weren’t for COVID, and I will not miss it at all. I won’t miss heading out into the cold and dark when I’d rather be home reading. I won’t miss trying to figure out where to park so I can avoid walking through a snowbank in heels. I won’t miss shouting small talk at people in a noisy, crowded room. And I won’t miss watching everyone drink copiously while I stand there, weirdly allergic to alcohol. I will miss the food a little because tiny food is often quite tasty. But I definitely will not miss thinking about what to wear.
Holiday party dressing is a tricky business, especially when there is no clear dress code and many of your colleagues are highly creative and intimidatingly stylish. I’m not exaggerating: I worked for years with an account director who had spent time modelling in Japan. Actually, I think there’s another former model at my workplace currently—along with a bunch of people who could easily be mistaken for models. I have no clue why I work there.
After many, many years of not really doing work parties, I decided a few years ago to make more of an effort. It took me about a minute to realize everything in my closet was either way too office-y (so many blazers), too formal (bridesmaids dresses) or too boring (basically everything else). So I went to the mall, not knowing exactly what I was looking for.
I ventured into J. Crew (because Jenna Lyons) and found a wonderful green silk blouse with a quirky print. There may have been prancing tigers involved, but they were super low key, I promise. The shirt looked like fancy English wallpaper, and I sort of loved it. It was, however, expensive, so I needed to think it over. I sat on a bench outside the store and looked up online reviews (in case the buttons were faulty or something?) and discovered that it had five stars from hundreds of buyers, which was great news—until I noticed ALL the buyers had identified themselves as 45–60 years old. Every. Single. One.
I’d love to say that I bought the shirt anyway because I’m a confident woman who knows what I like. But I didn’t. Instead, I slunk down the hall to another store and ended up buying this generic sequinned top:
I discovered, too late, that it was designed by “a Real Housewife of Toronto” and came with a free cherry-red lip gloss. I didn’t really know how to feel about that. But it served me right, I guess, for being too proud to buy a blouse beloved of middle-aged women.
Last year, I vowed not to make the same mistake, so I wore a robe to the office party. It felt great, actually, to go out in something casual and comfortable—and also warm, since I put it on over a tank top and leggings.
I like to think it was kind of a Jenna Lyons move, although she probably would’ve skipped the tank top, judging by how she regularly wears her shirts unbuttoned past her sternum. And she’s doing this at age 51. I still have much to learn.
:) Teresa
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