> CD #23: Dressing like a grown-up
I’ve been watching a lot of Frasier reruns lately. It’s a tv show I inexplicably loved as a university student in the 90s—even though my life experience couldn’t have been further from that of a rich, white, middle-aged man’s—and I consider it a comfort-watch. The show mostly holds up, and I am certainly in a much better position to appreciate the jokes now that I am older and relatively bouge.
But I was shocked to realize recently that Frasier Crane was only in his early 40s when the show began, which means the character is younger than I am now. It made me look at all the Frasier characters, and myself, a little differently. The two brothers on the show are very clearly “grown-ups” and into things like fine French dining, designer suits, and fancy coffee. Frasier’s love interests are mostly successful professionals who glide around in silk blouses, pencil skirts and pantyhose.
I see now that, as a young woman, I bought into that vision of adulthood without question. And with it, I believed all the magazine articles that told me every woman’s wardrobe needed to include a little black dress, a crisp white button-down, a skirt suit, and a classic trench coat. Those items were must-haves, along with outfits that could go from “day to night,” lolol.
Somewhere along the way, of course, things changed. What I don’t know is if I changed or if the world did. I suspect it’s a bit of both. I no longer believe in wardrobe staples, and I have no desire as a woman in my forties to look sophisticated. In fact, instead of a white button-down, the shirt that interests me most right now is from the Re/Done x Peanuts collab:
But I don’t think it’s only me. Fashion has changed too, and there is no longer only one way to look grown up or put-together. We live in a world where an Off-White sweatshirt costs more than an Armani suit, and where fancy French brands sell $400 t-shirts with Babar on them. The most fashionable people wear a mix of high and low, inspiring us to embrace eclecticism and personal style.
Is it more than just fashion, though? Have people also changed significantly since the 90s? Are we no longer interested in growing up? What does being an adult even mean in 2021? And is the defining aesthetic of adulthood athleisure?
As always, I have no answers, but I can tell you this: I feel less grown up now than when I first started watching Frasier, even though I am a middle-aged mother of three. And I don’t think there is anything I can wear to reflect this dissonance accurately. At least, not until I evolve into my final form of Chinese granny: that’s when I’ll come into my full power.
:) Teresa
ps. I am emotionally unable to talk about the killing of six Asian women in Atlanta last week, so here are something good to read and something good to support. Be there for your Asian neighbours, please.
What is happening even?? Closet Dispatch is a free, limited-run weekly newsletter by Teresa Wong.