> CD #40: Unwritten
Over the summer, my friend Kat gave me a bag of clothes she no longer wanted and thought I could use. It felt a bit like winning a prize, since I hadn’t bought any new clothes in over a year, and I could tell she had chosen each item carefully just for me. The only thing I didn’t immediately love was this red, white and navy silk J. Crew dress:
I usually stay away from stripes and bold patterns because I think they’ll overwhelm my small frame. Also, people notice when you wear anything that’s not plain, and I’m not great at being noticed. But when I put the dress on, I was surprised at how much I liked it, how comfortable I felt in the stripes. I still haven’t worked up the nerve to wear it out into the world yet, but it was good reminder that things can be unpredictable. And the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we like might accurately reflect the past, but it doesn’t mean they also apply to the future.
We can always surprise ourselves. Our stories are not finished.
Some of you know I have a soft spot for celebrity gossip and I’ve been an avid Lainey reader since the early days of her site, which is funny because I don’t actually care about most celebrities. What I enjoy, though, is the commentary around famous people and how it exposes our society’s values and priorities. Also sometimes it’s just fun to check in on what the rich and famous are up to. Everyone is so pretty.
One of the biggest surprises to come out of the pandemic is the reunion of Bennifer, when Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got back together this spring after breaking off their engagement 17 years earlier. Like a phoenix rising out of the ashes (IYKYK). Now, I’m not a big fan of either of them individually—I like maybe two J.Lo songs and have only watched Ben in the first half of Armageddon—but I have always enjoyed their relationship as a cultural artifact. So much so that, back in 2002, I dubbed the two trees in our front yard “Jen” and “Ben.” It’s the improbability of them I love. And the total absurdity of their romance.
So, when they found their way back to each other this year (someone on Twitter called it “Bennifer Againifer” and I died), it felt like something big. Here was something none of us could have predicted. Like the gleeful part of the universe finally clicking into place, just for a moment. The Real Sarah Miller says it best:
Finding out Ben and Jen were getting back together was the first truly shocking piece of news I’ve heard in years that wasn’t also horrible. I am convinced that experiencing surprise this intense unattended by panic and dread literally increased my serotonin production.
I now walk around thinking—just because of them, no other reason—that maybe I should stop being so sure I know what’s going to happen. Maybe the ocean will be somehow fine. Maybe everything can be prevented from burning down. Maybe there could be less and less ticks instead of more and more.
…
I now understand the future is unwritten.
An extreme take, for sure, but I’m on board. I love the surprise, the hope, the delight in watching the least likely version of events unfold before our eyes. Celebrating her birthday on a yacht, a callback to scenes from the “Jenny from the Block” video. Making their red carpet debut in Venice. Kissing through masks at the Met Gala. It’s utterly ridiculous, thoroughly entertaining, and 100% the content I need right now.
:) Teresa
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